Ark Press
The Pickle Factory
The Pickle Factory
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THIS IS A PRE-ORDER TITLE AND WILL RELEASE JULY 28, 2026
Catch-22 meets Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy in this biting comic novel of one spy’s quest for justice—and a ray of truth—when he’s cast into a pit of bureaucratic vipers bent on never-ending expansion of the nest, even if they have to kill to do so.
The Pickle Factory Eats Its Own
KRAY (not his true name) is a nonofficial-cover (NOC) CIA operator—a field case officer who works without embassy backup, relying on nerve and ingenuity to recruit and run foreign agents for his country. Then Headquarters calls him home and drops him into its own maze, where initiative is a liability and successful operators are resented. At first, KRAY plays along, hoping to outlast his bureaucratic tour and get back to real operations.
But the NOC program’s potential brings in a new congressional windfall—a multibillion-dollar money stream earmarked to hire and field more NOCs.
Enter Project GOOWIKI (the “Transformational Human Resources World-Wide Outreach Program”). The plan: spend every penny on consultants, stack headquarters with new hires, and promote layers of supervisors to manage them. Field work? No way. Effective foreign operators only cause headaches HQ doesn’t need.
Then a forward operating base abroad explodes in a suicide bombing. CIA officers die. Headquarters springs into action—not to hit back, but to cover its own backside. Meanwhile, KRAY’s reputation sinks exactly as intended. And when he returns to the field to find out if any of GOOWIKI’s “1,000 new NOCs” actually exist, Headquarters figures this may be the perfect time to solve the KRAY problem. Permanently.
Fast, sharp, and bone-dry funny, Sam R. OYKEN’s vast comic debut is Catch-22 with a security clearance, A Confederacy of Dunces with a nation on the line. Bureaucrats obsess over “Funny Names,” mandatory trainings (“Talking On The Telephone,” “Talking With Foreigners”), and cafeteria upgrades, while competence quietly bleeds out in the corner. Underneath the irony runs a hard moral line: contempt for cowardice, anger at waste, and respect for those who actually risk their lives for their country. None of which plays well—or at all—at the Pickle Factory.
Praise for The Pickle Factory
“The real deal. With merciless wit, OYKEN exposes and pillories the stultifying banality of the mind-numbing, self-serving bureaucracy at CIA headquarters. The only obvious disinformation is the author’s disclaimer that he made it all up.“—J. Michael Waller, author Big Intel: How the CIA and FBI Went from Cold War Heroes to Deep State Villains
“Does to the CIA what Joseph Heller did to the Air Force in Catch-22. Oyken’s CIA rewards charlatans, yes men and embittered viragos while honest officers—there are some—live a precarious existence as far away from CIA headquarters as they can get and stay—trying to get the nation’s spying done. It’s hard not to conclude CIA needs a flamethrower directed its way and rebuilt from scratch.”—Col. Grant Newsham, reserve head of intelligence for Marine Forces Pacific, and author of When China Attacks
“In KRAY, the hero of this hilarious and harrowing merger of a spy caper and a kafkaesque nightmare, readers will discover an unexpected blend of Holden Caulfield, Jack Ryan, Austin Powers, and—most crucially—George Smiley, determined to get to the bottom of a seemingly bottomless pit of duplicity and misdirection.”—Andrew Ferguson, author of Crazy U, Land of Lincoln, and contributing writer to The Atlantic
“Absurd. Poignant. Filled with hard truths about the critical state of a vital government agency. Every person in Washington needs to read this book now and then ask themselves what they plan to do to fix CIA.”—Charles “Sam” Faddis, retired CIA officer, author of Beyond Repair: The Decline And Fall Of The CIA
